Warning: Adult content, if your kids were just looking over your shoulder seeing the cute pictures, now is the time to have them go do something else.
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On a message board I frequent, many of the moms recently got into a discussion about the things our kids face today, specifically becoming sexually active in lower grades, down to 5-6th grades, and also the increasing popularity of having group slumber parties that are expressly for having same-gender sex. I don't even need to explain my stand on all of that, but what really got me thinking were the comments about how inevitable it is and how all we can do is talk to our kids and hope they will be open with us and make good mature choices, blah blah blah.
Here's the deal. I don't think that even in this current world (which I admit freely is far worse then when I was a child/teen 20+ years ago) that this type of thing is inevitable! I refuse to accept that. However, I also know that if their plan consists of talking and hoping, they are right. Let me be blunt. I was not a sexually active teen. In fact, I married so late, I was hardly a sexually active 20-something. In my case, it wasn't because of talking and hoping. It was because instilled deep within my very being, there was the sure and certain knowledge of being immediately struck down by God and the fact that no matter if I was 15 or 25, my Mother would somehow KNOW.
What I'm saying is that trying to reason with hormones is a losing battle. You can "know" all about STDs, you can "know" about pregnancy, you can "know" about the emotional ramifications...but that isn't necessarily going to do the trick.
Again, back to that discussion. There were a few comments about how they were going to give their children "all the information" so they could make "right decisions" and not rely on Bible-thumping or fear.
That sounds great doesn't it?
Let's apply that to, oh, a 2 year old. "Honey, this is an electric outlet. I know you are very curious and your curiosity is your strongest drive right now, but I want to let you know all the information so you can be smart." You would then procede to tell him about electricity, how good and powerful it is, but how it must be kept in wires and only accessed properly. You would tell him of the dangers and even how it could kill him. (so far so good, right?) You finish off by telling him that if he really must stick a hairpin in the outlet to please use these insulated gloves and if he ever has any more questions, to come have another talk with you.
I do of course realize that the above is exaggerated. But come ON... you know what my kids know about electricity? that it is BAD! HOT! NO! OWIE! that if you even go close to an outlet or a plug Mommy materializes out of thin air and SWATS that hand.
Perhaps I go too far because now when the older two are big enough that I might actually tell them to go plug this or that in, they stare at me as though I just told them to drink poison and remind me that they are NOT ALLOWED to even THINK of touching a power plug!
Now, since Jeff is an electrical engineer, they do know a bit about the actual workings of it, but allow me to lay it out plainly; It is NOT their knowledge about the power and potential of electic current that keeps them conditioned to not touch it, it is their FEAR.
Personally, I like that fear. That fear kept them alive long enough to reach the age where they CAN learn about AC/DC and wattage and amperage and voltage.
I'm not advocating that we don't educate our children about sex. I am saying that just knowing the facts isn't enough to keep them safe (and by safe, I mean abstinence). The drive is far stronger than the ability to reason. When faced with those choices, they need enough good old fashioned FEAR to keep them from getting into the place of temptation.
I've heard people say that they don't want their children to obey out of fear but out of love and respect.
Well Duh.
Brilliant deduction there.
Unfortunately, humans are selfish beings, must be a design flaw, take it up with God. In the meantime understand this; a respect that has enough weight to overcome selfish urges takes a while to grow and a certain amount of maturity to develop. I love (and as far as I can remember have always loved her) my mother. However, the deep respect and honor for her developed along the way, and dare I say, is still growing? If my obedience to her was based on my ability to respect her and defer to her wisdom, I wouldn't have obeyed her until I was about 23. That's a bit too late. I'm talking about a fear that is a percursor to respect and honor, a fear that keeps us within the walls, so to speak, until we are mature enough to love the walls and what they protect us from.
When and why did fear develop such a bad rep? You don't think it could be part of a diabolical plan to keep us from getting wisdom... nah, surely the enemy of our souls wouldn't do that, would he?
Personally, I think bit of the right kind of fear is a great thing. And I plan on using it to protect my kids from things far more dangerous than the electric outlets.
**disclaimer. I have not yet raised my children to this age. I am speaking from experience of a child that this worked with, not as a parent who has done it successfully.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Pictures April/May
so I guess you need to blame FaceBook for the utter lack of attention shown to my blog recently. Sorry.
Jonny with Mom-mom (my mom) during our visit there in April. They were pretty fond of each other.
Jonny with Mom-mom (my mom) during our visit there in April. They were pretty fond of each other.
We visited Lazy5 Ranch while in NC, it was our second time but Jeff's first time. He greatly enjoyed it, especially the cows.
Recent pictures of Jonny. He is 8 months old now, hard to believe. He has a tooth, he can clap, he pulls up and then holds on with just one hand. 
Joyana, apparently feeling just fabulous!
Mr. Thoughtful. What does go on in that little brain?
Joyana, apparently feeling just fabulous!
Mr. Thoughtful. What does go on in that little brain?
This horse has seen better days, but they still enjoy it.
Best buds
For Mother's Day I asked to go strawberry picking. Here are my helpers smashing berries to make jam.
We got a little over 17 lbs.
Best buds
For Mother's Day I asked to go strawberry picking. Here are my helpers smashing berries to make jam.
We got a little over 17 lbs.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Civics 101
Thanks to my great friend Don, I was made aware of the national effort to hold local tea parties on tax day. I located the party nearest to us and since it was just up the street, decided to take part.
The kids and I made posters and I tried to explain on their level what it was all about. I wanted to do video clips of them each explaining their signs but they froze up when I tried to record them, so I'll just write it out.
Joey carried a sign based on the famous Gadsden flag. He learned that Ben Franklin used the rattlesnake to symbolize our country in the early days because the snake would give ample warning, but once it began to strike back, would not stop. The colonists warned the King many times that they would not continue to stand for the mistreatment, but finally struck back.
In his words,
"My sign has a rattlesnake and says 'don't tread on me' that means do not step on me or jump on me because we will fight back. The government is spending our money without asking us, that is wrong. It is like stealing. I'm hiding my money. I'm pretty sure stealers shouldn't be our leaders. If I were the leader I would not steal, I would make good rules, like, 'don't litter'. If the leaders keep doing this we will say,'you're fired!' just like the 'You're fired!' show. And we will dump our tea into the sea."
As far as the gathering itself, I was pleased with the results. It was a very cold and wet day, but I know there were several hundred people there. We got there a bit late and stayed for about an hour. I know that at least one Congressman was there, hopefully he got the message.
The kids and I made posters and I tried to explain on their level what it was all about. I wanted to do video clips of them each explaining their signs but they froze up when I tried to record them, so I'll just write it out.
Joey carried a sign based on the famous Gadsden flag. He learned that Ben Franklin used the rattlesnake to symbolize our country in the early days because the snake would give ample warning, but once it began to strike back, would not stop. The colonists warned the King many times that they would not continue to stand for the mistreatment, but finally struck back.
In his words,
"My sign has a rattlesnake and says 'don't tread on me' that means do not step on me or jump on me because we will fight back. The government is spending our money without asking us, that is wrong. It is like stealing. I'm hiding my money. I'm pretty sure stealers shouldn't be our leaders. If I were the leader I would not steal, I would make good rules, like, 'don't litter'. If the leaders keep doing this we will say,'you're fired!' just like the 'You're fired!' show. And we will dump our tea into the sea."
Jessi's thoughts:
"Taxes are when we all give a little bit of our money for the government to use for things we all need, like roads and the Army. But, then they decide to spend it on stupid things and there is no more money for the things we need. That is SO wrong! I thought they were good guys, would they treat their own wife and kids like this? NO! So why are they trying to do it to us? My Daisies verse says to 'treat everyone with respect' and they are not respecting us! I think the police should stop them."
Jessi actually had two signs, one that she created completely on her own and one that I planned out and she colored, cut, and pasted. Her personal sign is below. She says it is a judge banging his hammer and telling the government guys to stop wasting money.
The large sign she carried at the tea party was this one:
Joy's opinion was brief, but heartfelt:
"Stop taking my money, I'm just a kid and that is RUDE." 
I tried to make this a true learning opportunity and not just have it be about me using the kids holding signs for a good photo op. At several points when we were disucssing the wording, they wanted to include epithets like "stinky-head" and I made sure to tell them that even when we don't like them, we must respect them. The way to change things is not to call ugly names, but to first ask them to stop, and if that doesn't work, tell them that we won't choose them again next time. ... I think they learned that lesson better than many adults I know. 
As far as the gathering itself, I was pleased with the results. It was a very cold and wet day, but I know there were several hundred people there. We got there a bit late and stayed for about an hour. I know that at least one Congressman was there, hopefully he got the message.
For the most part the signs were quite bipartisan, addressing the issues and not trying to lay blame on one party or another.
Yes, Jonny was there, you can see the top of his bumble bee hat in the picture with Uncle Sam above.
I think that all in all, it was a great opportunity for the kids to see and participate, and it certainly made it more interesting for them than just having a lesson about it.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Things that make me go hmmmm....
I just got an email asking me to go sign a petition to stop Obama from repealing the Conscience Clause, a legislation allowing medical workers to be excused from performing medical procedures or even offering medical advice that they are morally opposed to. Of course the big deal is about abortion but it actually covers anything from birth control to vaccinations, or anything else that someone may find themselves morally opposed to doing.
At first glance, of course, we should all jump on and not want this repealed. No one should be forced to participate in a procedure, medical or otherwise that they feel is wrong!
Except,
uh,
no one is FORCING anyone.
What happened to the individual standing up for their beliefs?
Have we SERIOUSLY come so far away from personal responsibility that we need the government to give us a free pass so that we can take our morally superior position but not have to really stand up for it?
Of course it's possible that I have indeed missed something. That if this is repealed then doctors and nurses are facing jail time for not performing abortions. But I find that hard to believe.
I think they are possibly facing censure at work, maybe even having their jobs threatened.
I'm not making light of that, I'm truly not.
However, to say that (as the petition in question was worded) if this is repealed then health care workers will be FORCED into doing things they find morally wrong, well, it's just isn't true.
If I can't face opposition or even the possibility of losing my job to stand up for my convictions... I don't think they are much of a conviction. A preference sure, but a conviction?
Let me clarify, I hope that the longstanding (30 years) protection allowing healthcare workers to opt out of abortion is left intact--from what I can read, it is not being threatened, it's the very new legislation (enacted inauguration morning) that is going to be repealed. I'm honestly not sure of the implications of the new wording and how it differs from this old legislation. Also, since this legislation was only enacted 2 months ago, how is its removal really going to effect anyone? Bush was in office for 8 years. If this was THAT important, why wasn't it brought about sooner? Methinks it was done merely to make a point... and that it was done with the full expectation that it would immediately be repealed. GREAT use of our tax dollars, hey? Of course, it has served a higher purpose of giving the Right a new maypole to dance around, that's always nice.
(no way, my tongue is no where near my cheek!)
My point is... when is a conviction a conviction? When is it a preference? Are you willing to lose your job to stand up for what you think is right?
My real issue is with the wording of the petition... very whiny, self-righteous, if the gov't won't give me an umbrella to hide under then there is nothing I can do about it.
Bull-ony (that's Bologna for those of you who don't spell phonetically).
I think what the issue here is that we have been living fat and happy in the land of the free for so long that we have NO idea what it would be like to face real opposition for our beliefs, religious or otherwise.
One good thing that did come out of this is that Jeff and I had quite a discussion hammering out which of our actions are based on conviction and which are based on preference. For instance, we discovered that while we feel very strongly about homeschooling, homeschooling is not a conviction and we would not go to jail over it. Parents raising their children is the conviction and homeschooling is a great way to act upon that conviction. That conviction would be directly thwarted if they were taken away from us while we were jailed. Of course, that is a worst case scenario (although one that is entirely too real in much of Europe) and we continue to support our homeschool legislative group to protect our right to act upon our conviction.
So anyway... I'll be worried if they try to repeal the long-standing law protecting health care providers moral choice; The future nurses of AMerica or whatever that group is needs to grow up and stop whining, or at least stop the gross misrepresentation shown by that petition; and, it does one good to occasionally stop and take stock in what you truly believe.
At first glance, of course, we should all jump on and not want this repealed. No one should be forced to participate in a procedure, medical or otherwise that they feel is wrong!
Except,
uh,
no one is FORCING anyone.
What happened to the individual standing up for their beliefs?
Have we SERIOUSLY come so far away from personal responsibility that we need the government to give us a free pass so that we can take our morally superior position but not have to really stand up for it?
Of course it's possible that I have indeed missed something. That if this is repealed then doctors and nurses are facing jail time for not performing abortions. But I find that hard to believe.
I think they are possibly facing censure at work, maybe even having their jobs threatened.
I'm not making light of that, I'm truly not.
However, to say that (as the petition in question was worded) if this is repealed then health care workers will be FORCED into doing things they find morally wrong, well, it's just isn't true.
If I can't face opposition or even the possibility of losing my job to stand up for my convictions... I don't think they are much of a conviction. A preference sure, but a conviction?
Let me clarify, I hope that the longstanding (30 years) protection allowing healthcare workers to opt out of abortion is left intact--from what I can read, it is not being threatened, it's the very new legislation (enacted inauguration morning) that is going to be repealed. I'm honestly not sure of the implications of the new wording and how it differs from this old legislation. Also, since this legislation was only enacted 2 months ago, how is its removal really going to effect anyone? Bush was in office for 8 years. If this was THAT important, why wasn't it brought about sooner? Methinks it was done merely to make a point... and that it was done with the full expectation that it would immediately be repealed. GREAT use of our tax dollars, hey? Of course, it has served a higher purpose of giving the Right a new maypole to dance around, that's always nice.
(no way, my tongue is no where near my cheek!)
My point is... when is a conviction a conviction? When is it a preference? Are you willing to lose your job to stand up for what you think is right?
My real issue is with the wording of the petition... very whiny, self-righteous, if the gov't won't give me an umbrella to hide under then there is nothing I can do about it.
Bull-ony (that's Bologna for those of you who don't spell phonetically).
I think what the issue here is that we have been living fat and happy in the land of the free for so long that we have NO idea what it would be like to face real opposition for our beliefs, religious or otherwise.
One good thing that did come out of this is that Jeff and I had quite a discussion hammering out which of our actions are based on conviction and which are based on preference. For instance, we discovered that while we feel very strongly about homeschooling, homeschooling is not a conviction and we would not go to jail over it. Parents raising their children is the conviction and homeschooling is a great way to act upon that conviction. That conviction would be directly thwarted if they were taken away from us while we were jailed. Of course, that is a worst case scenario (although one that is entirely too real in much of Europe) and we continue to support our homeschool legislative group to protect our right to act upon our conviction.
So anyway... I'll be worried if they try to repeal the long-standing law protecting health care providers moral choice; The future nurses of AMerica or whatever that group is needs to grow up and stop whining, or at least stop the gross misrepresentation shown by that petition; and, it does one good to occasionally stop and take stock in what you truly believe.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Challenge
I receive on an average of 4-5 email forwards per day, many (perhaps 75%) of them on the subject of patriotism.
I get the ones featuring beautiful pictures of the flag and soaring eagles; I get ones containing prayers for our military; I get ones trying to convince me that our new Commander in Chief is the antichrist; I get ones (or maybe it's the same one over and over for the past 10 years!) from some Canadian guy who feels like the USA gets a bum rap in the international community.
I am here today to offer a challenge. I do not necessarily subscribe to the fear mongering that goes on in the name of preserving true American values, but I DO understand that our nation is under a lot of stress right now. I may not be be a die-hard GOP, but one thing is for sure, I am against big government, and the things going on right now in DC are the harbingers of a humongous, swallow-us-whole, monster of a big government.
You care about our country, right? Of course you do, or you wouldn't keep opening and forwarding those emails urging us all to love Jesus and the USA.
For one day, instead of forwarding emails that warn you that deleting is a sure sign of communism in your heart, take real action. I challenge you to take 3 minutes and call your representative. Tell him or her that you are AGAINST the government being allowed to take over private companies in the name of "saving the economy", tell them that the American people are smart enough to make their own decisions about toy safety and to put a stop to the CSPIA that is threatening thousands of small, American businesses. Tell them that our military should NOT be required to start footing even part of the bill for their health care, and that reassessing the state of VA benefit recipients for the sole purpose of UN-qualifying as many as possible to save money is NOT an acceptable way to save government money.
Choose the current event that bothers you most and make your voice heard. I know that we often think that our one voice doesn't really matter. But, it does. In the fall of 2008 a small grassroots effort grew into a force so powerful that the voices of individual micro-businesses were actually heard and we received a reprieve on the CSPIA that would have made our businesses illegal. The fight is not over, but it was proven that DC DOES listen!
Follow the LINK to get information on how to contact your representative.
Go on, do it, I dare you!
I get the ones featuring beautiful pictures of the flag and soaring eagles; I get ones containing prayers for our military; I get ones trying to convince me that our new Commander in Chief is the antichrist; I get ones (or maybe it's the same one over and over for the past 10 years!) from some Canadian guy who feels like the USA gets a bum rap in the international community.
I am here today to offer a challenge. I do not necessarily subscribe to the fear mongering that goes on in the name of preserving true American values, but I DO understand that our nation is under a lot of stress right now. I may not be be a die-hard GOP, but one thing is for sure, I am against big government, and the things going on right now in DC are the harbingers of a humongous, swallow-us-whole, monster of a big government.
You care about our country, right? Of course you do, or you wouldn't keep opening and forwarding those emails urging us all to love Jesus and the USA.
For one day, instead of forwarding emails that warn you that deleting is a sure sign of communism in your heart, take real action. I challenge you to take 3 minutes and call your representative. Tell him or her that you are AGAINST the government being allowed to take over private companies in the name of "saving the economy", tell them that the American people are smart enough to make their own decisions about toy safety and to put a stop to the CSPIA that is threatening thousands of small, American businesses. Tell them that our military should NOT be required to start footing even part of the bill for their health care, and that reassessing the state of VA benefit recipients for the sole purpose of UN-qualifying as many as possible to save money is NOT an acceptable way to save government money.
Choose the current event that bothers you most and make your voice heard. I know that we often think that our one voice doesn't really matter. But, it does. In the fall of 2008 a small grassroots effort grew into a force so powerful that the voices of individual micro-businesses were actually heard and we received a reprieve on the CSPIA that would have made our businesses illegal. The fight is not over, but it was proven that DC DOES listen!
Follow the LINK to get information on how to contact your representative.
Go on, do it, I dare you!
Monday, March 16, 2009
some days, life is just good.
The other day we made plans to go to the park and meet some friends. It was the last beautiful day (weather-wise) for a while, so we went and while it was nothing fancy, it was just so nice. The kids had so much fun, they played so well, Jonny went to sleep for a long time, and I was able to sit and visit with my good friend while our kids played. It was really a GOOD day.
Thursday was the kids' last class of swim lessons. They each got a little certificate saying they had finished and listing the skills they had mastered. When Jeff got home from school, I called them in very ceremoniously and let them present their certificate to their daddy and read off all the achievements. They were so excited that they were actually nervous... It was so sweet to watch them show daddy what they had done. It was just a really GOOD time.
This weekend we went up to Great-Papa's for a multi-birthday party. Great-Papa (Jeff's grandfather), Little Grandma (Jeff's mom), cousin Seth, and second cousin Sophia all have their birthdays within a week of each other. It was so nice to see some of the Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that we haven't seen for a while, and the kids were so excited to see their baby cousin. I ended up having the opportunity to teach one of the teenage cousins how to knit. I love sharing my favorite things with other people and this time was particularly fun because she caught on SO quickly. I don't think I've every shown anyone who picked it up so fast. It was very rewarding to share this craft that is such a big part of my life with the "young generation." It was GOOD.
I think that I often get so caught up in the frustrations of everyday. like laundry, or dishes. auugh. it doesn't matter how many loads of clothes or dishes we do... there are ALWAYS more dirty sitting there waiting. That is truly one of the most frustrating things for me. I need to make sure that I pay equal emotional attention to the good things. It's easy to be grateful for huge "good days" like vacations, I need to make sure that I am recognizing the small good days, or even harder, the good moments in a not-so-great day.
Thursday was the kids' last class of swim lessons. They each got a little certificate saying they had finished and listing the skills they had mastered. When Jeff got home from school, I called them in very ceremoniously and let them present their certificate to their daddy and read off all the achievements. They were so excited that they were actually nervous... It was so sweet to watch them show daddy what they had done. It was just a really GOOD time.
This weekend we went up to Great-Papa's for a multi-birthday party. Great-Papa (Jeff's grandfather), Little Grandma (Jeff's mom), cousin Seth, and second cousin Sophia all have their birthdays within a week of each other. It was so nice to see some of the Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that we haven't seen for a while, and the kids were so excited to see their baby cousin. I ended up having the opportunity to teach one of the teenage cousins how to knit. I love sharing my favorite things with other people and this time was particularly fun because she caught on SO quickly. I don't think I've every shown anyone who picked it up so fast. It was very rewarding to share this craft that is such a big part of my life with the "young generation." It was GOOD.
I think that I often get so caught up in the frustrations of everyday. like laundry, or dishes. auugh. it doesn't matter how many loads of clothes or dishes we do... there are ALWAYS more dirty sitting there waiting. That is truly one of the most frustrating things for me. I need to make sure that I pay equal emotional attention to the good things. It's easy to be grateful for huge "good days" like vacations, I need to make sure that I am recognizing the small good days, or even harder, the good moments in a not-so-great day.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The value of a SAHM / Frugal tips
So I envision this becoming very long and maybe it's not the very best forum for what I would like to do, but it's what I've got so let's make it work. I STRONGLY desire feedback... this post will be useless without it! So your thoughts, your best tips, or links to your favorite blogs and sites are all most welcome.
Again we revisit the topic of being a SAHM (stay at home mom); specifically, in this time of so much financial upheaval, with so many people losing their jobs, is it really worthwhile to try and keep one potential wage earner at home?
First of all, this isn't to knock any mom who IS in the outside workforce, nor to suggest that she isn't being a good mommy if she is. My own mom (who is fabulous!) spent lots of time working due to our circumstances. I myself was a working mom for a few years- not really by choice, but making that sacrifice did enable Jeff to finish his education and get a good job that lets me stay home for the long run.
What I'd really like to focus on is how being a stay at home mom can actually be a financial plus for the family.
The first obvious benefit is that of not having to pay daycare or babysitting costs. Unless you have a super duper paying job, you will end up paying a big % of your income out for childcare.
Transportation cost- how much will it cost to get a second vehicle or even just gas and maintain the family's main vehicle to use it for your commute?
Wardrobe- Will you have extra wardrobe expenses to buy appropriate clothing for working outside the home.
Taxes- will the extra income put you at a disadvantage in income tax? Remember you don't get taxed on money you SAVE, only on money you earn! So learning how to SAVE $75 on your expenses is more valuable financially than is earning $75.
Psychological benefits- I know that it is hard (especially in our society when we are being told constantly that if we aren't earning then we aren't contributing) to "sit at home" when your husband is carrying the full load of providing on his own shoulders, but you need to consider what the extra stress of even a partime job will be on the family. Most of the time, even if both parents work, the mom is still the major worker at home. It just sort of happens this way. What happens is that we get a job to help our husband out, and end up being so stressed and overtired that he gets a grouchy wife. Mommy is the heart of the home. If Mommy is having a bad life, then so is everyone else. Regardless of the bon-bon rumor, most moms I know already have a full plate so adding more to it in the form of an outside job is really not good for the tone of the household.
So...what kind of things can we do to actively contribute to the financial success of the household? This is where you come in... I need your tips. Even if you think that everyone already knows it, post it. And as you read everyone else's tips, keep an open mind... not every tip will work for every household, but some of them might be just what you need.
I'll start.
We don't pay for TV (like cable or anything like that) we have a few shows we watch and we watch them online. You can watch Fox, NBC, ABC, CBS, etc online, also HULU.com is free and has many TV shows and even some movies for free.
Netflix is not free, but if you add in the availability of all the "watch instantly" movies available online, it may work out to be much less expensive than renting from a movie store.
We don't have cell phones. Well, we DO have cell phones, but not a plan. We get prepaid minutes from Tracfone to use for trips. Yes, the airtime does expire eventually, but paying $20 every 4-6 months to renew the phone number and get more airtime is far cheaper than any monthly plan we have ever found. Also, I never just buy it, I always search for coupon codes and get lots of free minutes.
Speaking of, coupon codes. If you are buying online, ALWAYS search for coupon codes first. I almost always at least get free shipping, if not a % off. just type in the company you are ordering from and "coupon code" in the search engine and stuff comes up. the sites are coupon cabin, retail me not, coupon codes and a bunch more.
Ebay is only a good deal SOMETIMES. I did get several super deals for Christmas gifts (a $100+ Thomas Train set for $35 including shipping) but I have also many times seen things go way too high, like within $2 of retail price plus shipping, so make sure you shop around first, especially for books, try half.com first.
For about $35 plus supplies, you can take Wilton Cake decorating classes at your local craft supply store. By the time you finish level 1, you can definitely start doing kids birthday cakes for yourself and friends, by the time you do level 2, you (with practice!) should be able to start selling them. I am out of practice now, but when I only had Joey and Jessi, I was getting orders probably once a month for birthday and baby shower cakes, mostly from church. It's not a ton of money, but it helps.
I cloth diaper. There is some question about the cost of extra laundry, but in our experience, buying disposable diapers does cost more, at least for us.
Buying bulk is a good idea sometimes. I can buy a huge bag of pancake mix from Sams for far less than buying JIffy at the grocery store. I know there are plenty of recipes out there to make your own baking mix, but the huge bags of Krusteez brand at Sams is about the same as buying all the ingredients and mixing it myself.
We recently discovered that our produce market has FAR better quality beef than the grocery store does, and for much less $.
For our family, the biggest enemy of staying on grocery budget is not having dinner ready and thus "having" to buy convenience food or go out to eat. My biggest defense against that is having a stock of freezer meals on hand. Yes, we have a plan, but to be frank, I don't stay on plan really well. I've blogged before about doing up bulk freezer meals so I won't do it again, but it REALLY helps prevent those don't-have-anything-for-supper burger and pizza runs.
We do like eating out every so often, and for us, the most frugal way to accomplish this is our local Chinese take-out place. Guess what... I can make white rice here for pennies... and ask them to substitute the rice for another side dish.
I also want to mention the option of bartering. As a society, we don't generally think of this, but it really does work. I was able to do a LOT of bartering this past year for Christmas gifts. Also, think about bartering or trading services such as babysitting. I used to clean in exchange for chiropractic treatments.
Please use the comment section to add your own best hints and links! Share ideas for cheap dates, cheap or free entertainment, and of course, how to lower household bills.
Thanks!
Again we revisit the topic of being a SAHM (stay at home mom); specifically, in this time of so much financial upheaval, with so many people losing their jobs, is it really worthwhile to try and keep one potential wage earner at home?
First of all, this isn't to knock any mom who IS in the outside workforce, nor to suggest that she isn't being a good mommy if she is. My own mom (who is fabulous!) spent lots of time working due to our circumstances. I myself was a working mom for a few years- not really by choice, but making that sacrifice did enable Jeff to finish his education and get a good job that lets me stay home for the long run.
What I'd really like to focus on is how being a stay at home mom can actually be a financial plus for the family.
The first obvious benefit is that of not having to pay daycare or babysitting costs. Unless you have a super duper paying job, you will end up paying a big % of your income out for childcare.
Transportation cost- how much will it cost to get a second vehicle or even just gas and maintain the family's main vehicle to use it for your commute?
Wardrobe- Will you have extra wardrobe expenses to buy appropriate clothing for working outside the home.
Taxes- will the extra income put you at a disadvantage in income tax? Remember you don't get taxed on money you SAVE, only on money you earn! So learning how to SAVE $75 on your expenses is more valuable financially than is earning $75.
Psychological benefits- I know that it is hard (especially in our society when we are being told constantly that if we aren't earning then we aren't contributing) to "sit at home" when your husband is carrying the full load of providing on his own shoulders, but you need to consider what the extra stress of even a partime job will be on the family. Most of the time, even if both parents work, the mom is still the major worker at home. It just sort of happens this way. What happens is that we get a job to help our husband out, and end up being so stressed and overtired that he gets a grouchy wife. Mommy is the heart of the home. If Mommy is having a bad life, then so is everyone else. Regardless of the bon-bon rumor, most moms I know already have a full plate so adding more to it in the form of an outside job is really not good for the tone of the household.
So...what kind of things can we do to actively contribute to the financial success of the household? This is where you come in... I need your tips. Even if you think that everyone already knows it, post it. And as you read everyone else's tips, keep an open mind... not every tip will work for every household, but some of them might be just what you need.
I'll start.
We don't pay for TV (like cable or anything like that) we have a few shows we watch and we watch them online. You can watch Fox, NBC, ABC, CBS, etc online, also HULU.com is free and has many TV shows and even some movies for free.
Netflix is not free, but if you add in the availability of all the "watch instantly" movies available online, it may work out to be much less expensive than renting from a movie store.
We don't have cell phones. Well, we DO have cell phones, but not a plan. We get prepaid minutes from Tracfone to use for trips. Yes, the airtime does expire eventually, but paying $20 every 4-6 months to renew the phone number and get more airtime is far cheaper than any monthly plan we have ever found. Also, I never just buy it, I always search for coupon codes and get lots of free minutes.
Speaking of, coupon codes. If you are buying online, ALWAYS search for coupon codes first. I almost always at least get free shipping, if not a % off. just type in the company you are ordering from and "coupon code" in the search engine and stuff comes up. the sites are coupon cabin, retail me not, coupon codes and a bunch more.
Ebay is only a good deal SOMETIMES. I did get several super deals for Christmas gifts (a $100+ Thomas Train set for $35 including shipping) but I have also many times seen things go way too high, like within $2 of retail price plus shipping, so make sure you shop around first, especially for books, try half.com first.
For about $35 plus supplies, you can take Wilton Cake decorating classes at your local craft supply store. By the time you finish level 1, you can definitely start doing kids birthday cakes for yourself and friends, by the time you do level 2, you (with practice!) should be able to start selling them. I am out of practice now, but when I only had Joey and Jessi, I was getting orders probably once a month for birthday and baby shower cakes, mostly from church. It's not a ton of money, but it helps.
I cloth diaper. There is some question about the cost of extra laundry, but in our experience, buying disposable diapers does cost more, at least for us.
Buying bulk is a good idea sometimes. I can buy a huge bag of pancake mix from Sams for far less than buying JIffy at the grocery store. I know there are plenty of recipes out there to make your own baking mix, but the huge bags of Krusteez brand at Sams is about the same as buying all the ingredients and mixing it myself.
We recently discovered that our produce market has FAR better quality beef than the grocery store does, and for much less $.
For our family, the biggest enemy of staying on grocery budget is not having dinner ready and thus "having" to buy convenience food or go out to eat. My biggest defense against that is having a stock of freezer meals on hand. Yes, we have a plan, but to be frank, I don't stay on plan really well. I've blogged before about doing up bulk freezer meals so I won't do it again, but it REALLY helps prevent those don't-have-anything-for-supper burger and pizza runs.
We do like eating out every so often, and for us, the most frugal way to accomplish this is our local Chinese take-out place. Guess what... I can make white rice here for pennies... and ask them to substitute the rice for another side dish.
I also want to mention the option of bartering. As a society, we don't generally think of this, but it really does work. I was able to do a LOT of bartering this past year for Christmas gifts. Also, think about bartering or trading services such as babysitting. I used to clean in exchange for chiropractic treatments.
Please use the comment section to add your own best hints and links! Share ideas for cheap dates, cheap or free entertainment, and of course, how to lower household bills.
Thanks!
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