pictures

My mom and sis came up for a super quick trip yesterday to see the kids in their end of year recital. While she was here, I had Julie take some pictures to use as senior pictures for Dean. Since he had prom last night, he still had his tux and we did pictures in that.

My sister Julie took the pictures and I photoshopped them.

Original:

touched up and cropped:

original: touched up and cropped:

original:
touched up and cropped: Two (too?) cool dudes.
Oh, I wish my kids were photogenic...

Joyana... what can I say? original:cropped

what a ham

honestly, we did take pictures of Jessica... but so far I'm not loving any of them even touched up. I plan to redo her recital pictures in the next few days and will post them then.

still around

quick update:

Jeff is doing great, he really is. the surgeon is very happy with how he is healing and he has been back at work doing part time days for about 1.5 weeks, should be back to full time by the end of this week. He was truly very sick and it has taken a while for his body to recover from how septic he was. God has been so good, I really can't thank him enough.

I've had Jeff home for the better part of a month and we have enjoyed it so much! To be really honest, I thought it would be hard... I hear women talk about wanting their husbands to get back to work when they are off for a while, but it truly has been special.

Jessi just had her 5th birthday, no pictures though because the usb port on the front of the computer where I plug my camera in to down load pics is broken and I can't crawl around to the back right now. She had a great day with our final homeschool group field trip, a birthday dinner date with dad and grandpa, home for cake and presents, then off to the pinewood derby to see Joey race. She got a scooter, a fishing pole, and two puzzles, and a great time was had by all.

I got my new serger. I'm in heaven, it's great. After two years, I finally decided and bought one. so far so good. Again, I'll post pics when i get the camera connected.

We did a lot of moving over the holiday weekend, Jeff and I are into our new bedroom, Joey is in our old one, and the girls are in the "kids'" room by themselves. They are getting lovely bunkbed but it's not due in for a few weeks.

Our family lost a wonderful friend last week. My "Uncle" Tom passed away after several years fighting congestive heart failure. I'll try to post his obituary later, and do a proper memorial post. For now I'll just say that this is so bittersweet... our hearts ache for our loss, but I know that he is out of pain and can finally breathe again. He was a big man, an ox of a man, and to be, for all intents and purposes, crippled these past few years has been so hard on him.

Today was our last MOPS meeting of the year, and to make it even more emotional, our two co-cordinators are both retiring this year. God has given us two amazing young ladies to rise up in leadership, but it is going to be hard to do without my other dear friends. I'm going to blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but yes, I did cry (a lot) this morning.

That's all for now, just touching base since it's been a few weeks. There will be pictures eventually.

mother'sdaystimuluschecklightsout

Yes you read that right.

Mother's Day. Is it permissible to admit that my Mother's Day started out a little cruddy and went downhill a bit before it went back uphill? Or should I pretend that I was feted with breakfast in bed, someone else got the whole family ready and polished for church, and I got the "most angelic mother" award at church?

How about I neither admit nor deny anything, but do say that my dear husband did successfully rescue my day and turn it into something truly special? He really is a great guy and I'm so blessed to have him for a husband and the father of my children.
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Economic stimulus check. Jeff is actually looking this gift horse in the mouth and wondering where the government gets the extra money to do this. He's such a republican. I on the other hand figure it's about time the GOP learns to share, and after all, all they have to do is shorten the Iraqi war for a day or so to pay for this.

Our plans for the money include:
new lawnmower
new weed eater
new serger
retaining stones for the other half of the house border garden
windshield for the motorcycle
seat backrest for the motorcycle
spinning wheel
hire someone to put down new floor in the kitchen
put aside some $$ for school supplies for next year, so I can have an account to go to as needed
carpet another bedroom

Now obviously, this is a dream list. But it's fun to dream, and if we can manage even four or five things on our list, that will be great.

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We've had some yucky weather around here, including uncharacteristic tornadoes. Let me tell you, I'm a tropical girl and I grew up with hurricanes. they really don't bother me so much. Tornadoes though, I do NOT like. I dealt with them for two years in Alabama and figured I was finished! I didn't sign on to do tornadoes here too. That aside, last night we had some good T-storms and wind and our electric went out. It blinked a few times then went out for good. We broke out the candles and a hand crank camping lantern to use to eat a simple supper, then all piled into mommy and daddy's bed for storytelling, spelling and math quizzes, and general fun until bedtime. I really think the kids liked it, and I know I appreciated having them go down without the usual plea for 2 more minutes of light, or please leave the hall light on.

random moanings

argh.
without going into gory details, I can now proclaim that I have FOR SURE surpassed all the cleaning up of bodily function messes in my career as wife and mom, than I did in all my years working in various arenas of patient care/health care.
If I never see any more poo tinkle or puke, I will be just fine with that.

and yet... I have a new baby on the way and even though I'm such a hippy that I do EC, I know I will indeed be dealing with a whole new round of the aforementioned messes. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

But really, we are already 6.5 people with 1.5 bathrooms (and really the .5 bath doesn't count, it's upstairs in a closet by Dean's room, no one else uses it)... do I HAVE to add tummy aches to the mix?
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I'm 24 weeks. That's over halfway, but not really anywhere near the end. Last night heartburn set in with a vengance. This morning I am craving salt so badly that I just licked the salt (and threw away the soggy chip) off of half a bag of tortillas. I'm pretty sure when I go for my next checkup, the scale will NOT be my friend. Something about the large portion of chocolate fudge chunk icecream that followed my salt-licking frenzy.

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Joy skipped her nap yesterday. She has been trying to do this occasionally, but it usually doesn't work, or if she does make it too late in the day, I just make her stay up and then put her to bed super early. The little rascal didn't go down until after 9:30 last night!!! With no nap!!! That is simply not good. NOooooooooooo! She is my nappingest baby yet and I like that. I know that to some people, napping is sacrosanct, and any deviation from this is reprehensible... that just hasn't worked for me with the first two kids... but with Joy, I really am enjoying having the naps go past the 2 years old mark. Now it really looks like she is going to drop them too. wahhhhh. I know we can still have quiet time/rest time, but I'm gonna miss the naps.

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I'm supposed to have a MOPS steering team meeting on Friday. Jeff's follow up dr appt with the surgeon is on Friday. I want to go to the Dr appt with him obviously. Well the person I was going to ask to watch the kids will be at the meeting. That is probably still ok, since she lives down the block from me, she could just take my kids with her and they could go to nursery (just like they would if I were at the meeting) and then after the Dr appt I could come back and sit in the end of the meeting and get the kids. but if one upchucked today... I'm pretty sure the rest will follow, you know? I really can't take them to someone's house or plan to put them in nursery if they are pukey. Not sure what to do. Anyone want to watch three possibly pukish kids for me on Friday morning?

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My mom broke her elbow the end of January and had surgery on it in February. A few days later, she fell again and in trying to catch herself, sprained the wrist of the non-broken arm. That was a bummer because this made her not just one-handed, but no-handed for a few weeks. The sprain was severe, but healed. What has not healed is something that showed up about 3-4 weeks post-fall... that she ruptured a tendon in the sprained hand's thumb. Her thumb doesn't work. A thumb is underappreciated until you don't have it. I tease her and ask how often does she actually hitch-hike and NEED the thumb, but we do know that it needs to be fixed. Well, the fix is another surgery. This time with at 6 weeks in a splint with no movement (they "borrow" and extra tendon from the index finger, route it through the palm, and attach it on the thymb, both of the the fingers have to be extended and immobile during healing), and then at least 6 weeks physical therapy for the thumb and finger. She is dreading this. I am trying to figure out how I can go help her. All of our commitments end by the middle of June, but by that time I am getting pretty close to baby day. She doesn't want to be out of commission when the baby comes because she traditionally closes up shop there at home and comes to stay with me for a few weeks--- which we LOVE and appreciate so much. So she either needs to do the surgery now so she's better, or put it off until fall. I really don't know what to tell her. it's not a good scenario either way. In retrospect... perhaps I should have hauled Jeff down there and done both of the surgeries at once. Then I could have taken care of them both at once, and hey, she does have two bathrooms!

Important Information

Unless you have just started following my ramblings, you probably know that I'm just a little bit "crunchy" and follow some of the more natural parenting practices such as natural childbirth, cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping. I'm perfectly fine with my friends who don't, and while I love this way doing things for me, I'm less interested in convincing people that I'm right than I am in simply presenting information so that other mothers can have more choices.
I had two very "medicalized" births and one (so far, this next one is on the same track as well) natural childbirth with midwifery care throughout. Hands down my health both physical and emotional, and my recovery were miles ahead in my last birth. I desired natural birth with my first two but due to lack of knowledge and lack of a supportive medical staff, things just didn't go that way.
This past fall I was able to attend a screening of a very important film called "The Business of Being Born" and while I thought I was becoming more informed about birth practices, the information presented was shocking to me.
I honestly feel that anyone who has given birth or will give birth here in the USA needs to have this information. Again, not to convince you that "we" are right and "they" are wrong, but simply so that you can understand the choices that you have, but are not given or informed about.
A disclaimer: this is a very real documentary, about birth. so yes, there is lots of skin--all in the context of labor and birthing, but skin nonetheless. It also contains some unedited remarks of women in labor, and not everyone giving birth necessarily watches their language.
Another thing, the movie is focusing on the "business" behind current birthing practices and protocols, and compares them to what childbirth can be like. This is presented in the context of homebirthing for the simple reason that the midwife they followed happens to be a homebirth midwife in NYC. Don't get the impression that they are advocating only homebirth, that is simply the dimension that gets the most time. It is possible to have a natural birthing experience in a hospital, however the film points out very clearly that the system is totally stacked against that happening.
A few of the more important points that the film addresses are:
-the snowball effect of medical interventions. A hospital is a business, patients in, patients out, that is where the money comes from. Thus patients are put on a timeline... well, birth doesn't aways follow a timeline. Thus begins the cycle of interventions. First a little pitocin to augment labor (usually needed because women are laboring on their backs, tied to too many monitors), then of course once the pitocin is started, the pain becomes unmanageable without medication, this relaxes you, but also slows labor again, so, more pitocin is needed. This cycle repeats. Finally, the baby is being squeezed by these unnaturally strong, unrelenting contractions and starts to have its blood supply compromised, its heart rate drops, and it goes into distress. Mom is then rushed into an emergency C-section due to fetal distress, and everyone is so happy that the baby was saved because of the section... many times, without the initial interventions to augment labor, this would never have happened. The incidence of unplanned c-sections following the introduction of labor augmenting drugs is undeniable, but this is not often disclosed to moms in labor.
-the importance of the chemical effects of the hormones released during labor and birth. Briefly, oxytocin and other brain hormones linked to feelings of love, nurturing and even addiction are released during labor and delivery. These hormones are lost when replaced by synthetic versions (for instance, pitocin instead of oxytocin). In nature the simple story is that if these hormones are missing during birth, the mother animal rejects the baby. For instance, if a monkey is given a c-section, it will ignore the baby and let it die. Now obviously no one is saying that a human mother can't overcome this and love and bond with their baby despite this! However, the medical history of birthing in the USA over the past 80 years is fraught with mistakes that we didn't find out until after the fact. Think of routine pevic exrays, thalidomide, and cytotec induced uterine rupture. Will the study of mother-child relationships in the next generations show that our messing with these natural hormones was a huge mistake?
- Doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies are all equally complicit in misleading both one another and the birthing women in the USA. We are the second leading developed nation when it comes to maternal mortality.... first if you count only the largest nations. One interesting note that I found out in the panel discussion that followed the screening I attended (it's not in the film) is that if all the numbers were out in the open, our numbers would be even higher. For example, in the UK, any mother who dies within a year of giving birth is automatically listed as a maternal mortality, pending investigation for the real cause. In contrast, here in the USA, an obvious maternal mortality may be listed as sepsis or hemorrhage instead, thus skewing the numbers.

Ok, before I simply post the entire film, let me again say that despite my disclaimers, I do think that the information in this film is vital for women who have or will give birth. The good news is that although this film was originally only released through private screenings, then for rent on netflix, it is now available in it's entirety online, for free.
http://quicksilverscreen.com/watch?video=45525

I urge you to find 1.5 hours to watch this important film.

God's Hugs in a Deviled Egg

So Jeff is home, I think I said that last time. He is actually doing well, hasn't used his pain meds at all for the past few days. Our main issue is the wound care. I think I said the surgical wounds were the size of my pinkie or ring finger. Nah. Let's move right on up to thumb. Super fun times and I'm so glad that I'm well past any stages of nausea etc. The important thing is that by all indication we have beat this infection. He is tired but starting to get bored (woe is me) and has had absolutely not even a hint of fever.
He does have ample time off, thank God for a salaried job, rather than hourly. If he gets too far in the hole for sick days they will put him on short term disability I think. One other possibility may be that they send him a laptop so he can work on a few key things from home. Apparently the Navy wants their new ship on time, no matter what has befallen my Jeff. Silly government.
I've shared how blessed I was with childcare during this time, and now am being blessed with meals. Except... I'm afraid I'm going to gain a bunch of weight and also get spoiled--my homegirls can COOK. You know though... there was this one dish... I am seriously wondering if she got it from Olive Garden or something and just repacked it in a casserole dish? Yeah, it was THAT good.
So deviled eggs from God. Well, yes. See, to you, deviled eggs are just a common summer side dish, often used for cookouts or potluck dinners. To me, a good deviled egg is manna; pure deliciousness in a three bite format. I have a few close friends who know this and endeavor to make sure that if we come over for an occasion there are a few deviled eggs. Yes, I have seriously gone to someones house and there was a private dish of deviled eggs just for me. It's that important. So, a lady who I know somewhat from church heard about what was going on and called to ask if she could bring a meal for me (not a member of MOPS, just heard about it) so I let the girl who's scheduling the meals know and they got together. Today was this lady's day. She had emailed me to let me know that my dinner would be in the fridge in the church and to just pick it up. So I did, found a nice casserole of beef and noodles and a bowl with a side dish, brought it home, thought that was it. A few minutes after I got home, my in laws call from the church saying that I hadn't picked up my meal, I told them yes I did, and we realized that apparently I had missed some. They brought it by on their way home... a HUGE bag of fresh organic produce (2 heads of lettuce, 4 lbs of tomatoes, 5 lbs of baby carrots, and a large batch of bananas), a bowl of potato salad, and (drum roll) a big egg dish thingy full of deviled eggs. Now remember, this lady doesn't know me, let alone know me well enough to understand my fetish with deviled eggs. And these are SO good! You'd think that if I liked them that well, I could just make them, right? Well, mine never taste as good as ones that people make for me, and these, oh these are simply divine.
God not only provides for our needs (childcare), but our convenience (all these meals), and sometimes, just an extra special luxury like these eggs to show that yes, he's the amazing creator, God of the universe, mighty healer (Praise Him!) but he's also my daddy and delights in hugging me with someone else's arms in the form of a dish of deviled eggs.

I've been MIA...

and here's why. Let me try and condense a week and a half into just a short explanation. And yes, those who know me are free to go ahead and laugh at the idea of me condensing anything, let alone a long story. Wait, instead of rewriting it, I will just c&p an email I sent this morning.


Dear family and friends who have been "out of the loop" and had their emails sitting in my in box for a week with no reply...sorry and here's the rest of the story.

Jeff has been very ill, but I'm so elated to say that as of last night about 6 PM he is home!!!

A timeline of what has happened:
-Last week on Wednesday (April 23), he was headed home from a business trip in Central Va, and called to tell me he was too sick to drive. I told him to try and make it to his mom's house in Richmond and rest for a while, then try to come on home. He did that and then did make it home but was pretty sick.
- Thursday, I took him to the doctor and he had strep throat, so we thought that was it. He got medicine and went to bed.
-Friday, he was worse, with tons of pain in his abdomen and all over his body, and even though it wasn't normal strep throat type pain, we assumed it was from being sick. Friday night was awful with abdominal pain, but I thought perhaps the antibiotics from the strep throat were upsetting his IBS.
-Saturday he was even worse, so I decided to take him the hospital ER. They determined that it was intestinal and told us to go to a GI specialist as soon as possible. Gave him medicine and sent him home. At this time he was having very bad chills, sweats, and fevers, but that was explained as being caused by the pain.
-Sunday, still very bad, even getting worse.
-Monday, Even worse pain, fever chills and sweats, also at this point could not pass urine without physically pushing on his belly to force it out. I called our family Doctor and they told me to take him straight to the ER. I did take him Monday afternoon and by late Monday night after various IV antibiotics, CT scan and chest xray, they admitted him with dehydration, infection, reduced kidney function, and fluid around his heart.
-Tuesday- We spent the day in the hospital with him on fluids and antibiotics, and seeing doctors. By late Tuesday afternoon, we still had no answers. We had seen infectious disease, internal medicine, and urology. They all agreed he was very sick but no one took his case. Throughout this time, even with all the IV antibiotics, he still continued with his cycle of sweats and chills and fever. Finally, one of the doctors called a colo-rectal surgeon who came in last thing of the day, right at 5 pm. He talked to us for a long time, reviewed the tests and CT scans, and finally decided that he would take Jeff and wanted to do surgery the next morning. He said he would have to go exploring and that he knew what he was looking for, just wasn't sure where he would find it. He was looking for a cyst or abscess in the colon. - Apparently this is because they didn't use the contrast dye stuff when they did the CT scan in the ER.
-Wednesday, surgery was a bit more complicated than expected given that he didn't know exactly what he was looking for, or where. They did find a source of all the infection, a cyst/abscess/not sure what to call it, (the Dr. used a big word), was wrapped around his intestine, almost completely encircling it. It had apparently burst at some point, and spread. By Wednesday day, his kidney function was back and all the fluid was going so the heart was no longer a concern. They said if his fever went down he could come home on Thursday. I was very hopeful because by Wednesday afternoon and evening his fever had broken.

-Thursday- A roller coaster day. The doctor said that since his fever came back during the night Wednesday night/early Thursday, he would probably not let him come home. Then the surgeon said that yes he could come home... then the other doctor said no he couldn't. I should explain. The "other doctor" is one who we don't know at all, he is simply the cooperating Dr. for our family Dr. at this hospital. I was not impressed with him and had to refuse some tests on Wednesday as well, so him saying that Jeff couldn't come home made me upset. The surgeon who actually WORKED on Jeff said that his white count was down and doing great, he looked great, the chills and fever were gone, yes he can come home.
So...I was about ready to ask the nurse manager how I could go about firing "other doctor" and having the surgeon be our physician of record and let him discharge Jeff, when apparently the surgeon called "other doctor" and told him to let Jeff come home.
I went and got him last evening.

Friday (today, May 2)- we are all home together, it is wonderful. The poor kids have been bounced all week. Between my very dear MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) group and my father-in-law, the kids have had excellent care all week, but they still really missed being home and of course mommy and daddy. We do still have some recovery to go through, due to the nature of this surgery, they do not close the incisions, they want them to drain, so I have to gaping holes (about the size of my thumb!) to keep clean and dry and dressed.

Jeff is still of course on very strong antibiotics, and pain medication. We do not know how long he will be out of work, at this point he has missed 7 days, and I doubt he will be back next week either. So still a lot to be praying for. I am utterly exhausted as I was not feeling great even while he was out of town last week and was looking forward to him coming home so I could get some rest. As I am sure you can tell, that rest never happened!

Again my MOPS group and other church friends are coming through, I just had a large portion of groceries delivered to my house for us to use for lunches, and we will have hot meals delivered to the house every night for the next few days too. Hopefully this will be enough time for me to get good and rested and able to handle everything again. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and the baby seems to be doing great. Lots of kicking and movement, feeling fine, just easily tired.

Even though we would never choose to have this happen, I would be remiss if I didn't share how blessed we have been with support through this. My father in law kept the kids for me on Saturday and then again Monday when I took Jeff to the ER. I actually had to leave him (Jeff) in the ER on Monday night because as you may have seen on the news, we had Tornadoes through the area on Monday evening, and they were hitting all around my in-laws house and my mother in law was home alone by herself. By ten PM, I assumed (but couldn't get confirmed because the ER doctor was busy with incoming ambulances carrying tornado victims) that they would admit him, so I went ahead home to let my father-in-law get home and check out any damage. Thank God they were fine; many, many people lost everything. The ER doctor called me about 10:45pm to tell me that yes, he was admitting him.

By this time it was too late to plan anything for childcare the next day, but I knew that we had a MOPS meeting scheduled. I simply showed up on Tuesday morning at the church, told the first lady I saw what was going on and everything was instantly taken care of. They took the car-seats and I headed for the hospital. If you are a mother you know what a blessing it is to have a circle of friends who love and care for your children as much as their very own. For the next three days, my MOPS friends took complete care of the kids, picking them up, dropping them off, feeding them, they even got Joy down for her nap, which is a major achievement. The kids were brought home to me each night once I got back home from being with Jeff. As I already shared, my "meals on wheels" will start today, and I even had offers to let me put my laundry in a bag on the porch and someone would pick it up and bring it back the next day clean. God is so very, very, good and we are so very, very blessed.

It was very scary for a few days, I have honestly never seen anyone that sick. The chills and sweats were like nothing I've ever seen (and remember I've worked in the medical field!). Then on Monday when the ER doctor said that his kidney function was low and that he had fluid around his heart... that was also scary to say the least. He looks so much better now, and even though he's sore from the surgery, he actually feels much better too.

I am so sorry that you all are hearing this after the fact, but I just wasn't home except for to sleep pretty much all week. My own mom had to wait until 10pm the night of his surgery (Wednesday) to get her update since I couldn't make long distance calls out of the hospital.

Love to all,
Jody.

So anyway, I'm busy here helping Jeff get around and doing wound care several times a day, taking care of the kids, and trying to get caught up on a week of nothing getting done.

Jeff is feeling well enough now that I can begin my merciless teasing and asking what is SO special about me being pregnant thay he has to compete with me? You see, he did this when I was pregnant with Joyana too! That time he got appendicitis and had surgery which was an ER trip and a hospital stay too, although not nearly this long or complicated! I am almost afraid to even think about having another baby... not for my sake but because who knows what kind of sickness he'll come up with next time!