and apparently that means I have to post 7 random facts about myself. Ha. pretty much everything about me is random.
1. I have a hideous head cold right now that is moving into my chest so I'm going to try to get into the Doctor and see what miraculous things he can do so that I'm not in misery when we go to Florida in 3 days. However, Joy broke her front tooth over the weekend (the jury is out on whether she hit it on her brother's head or on a baby doll head) so getting her to the dentist this morning is first priority.
2. I hate making phone calls. I don't know why, I just hate it. Businesses, acquaintances, it doesn't matter, I just don't enjoy talking on the phone. I call my mom of course, and if someone calls me I'll (usually) answer it, but to sit down with a list of calls to make is just torture to me.
3.I've traveled outside of the US, but only to Central America. I went to Belize the summer I was 14, then again when I was 15. I returned and was there for a year after college. I have also been on a mission trip to Guatemala and have traveled in El Salvador and Mexico. I have one souvenir from Honduras due to a flight layover where we got out and were allowed to roam the airport. So I've been to Honduras, just never outside.
4. I'm scared of heights but love to fly. I can swim but get weirded out when I snorkel--because I feel like I'm going to fall. If I close my eyes or put my head up so I can't see below water I'm fine, but when I see the bottom way down there, I get the same feeling that I do when I'm up high. Even my phobias are weird.
5. I still have my first car, a 1973 VW Bug named "Hoppy". Right now he's parked in my husband's grandparent's barn, awaiting a rebuild and restoration.
6. I graduated from high school early. I turned 18 second semester of my freshman year of college.
7. Some of the students I taught when I was teaching school are now out of college, married, and have kids. This makes me feel OLD. I know that I was barely 5 or 6 years older than they were when I was teaching, but still...
Ok that's my 7 things. I have to get this crew fed and off to the dentist. Fingers crossed that he can do something about this tooth right away.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Will the Government please hold my hand?
If my audience is fellow parents of small children, then I’m sure you have heard about and acted upon all the recent toy recalls that were prompted by findings of lead paint. I’m glad this has been brought to light so that we can choose to remove the toys from our homes. I’m sure that the manufacturers have had a wake-up call and will be revising their manufacturing and quality control methods (or face boycotts by thousands of angry American moms). This is all good; I don’t want my child to develop lead poisoning any more than you do. I’m even grateful that it has given me a good “excuse” to weed through our toys.
HOWEVER (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?), if I read or hear one more thing about “the government” letting this happen, or “the government” allowing these toys to be sold, or “the government” taking steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again... I will scream.
I don’t want “the government” to decide what toys I can buy and my children can play with. Someone else already gets to decide who and how and when my children get vaccinated, how I can deliver my babies, how I can educate them, and we are on a slippery slope regarding how I can discipline them.
At what point do we just birth them and turn them over to approved nurseries to be fed approved foods and sleep in approved cribs and play with approved toys and educated in approved methods?
How about we a) use some common sense, and b) let the power of free-market do its magic?
I keep reading of people going through their homes and tossing anything marked “made in China”, whether it is painted or not. If you choose to get rid of all Chinese made items, so be it, but be aware that cheap items made in other countries may have the same problems and also that not ALL products that happen to be made in China are poison. React thoughtfully, not out of a lemming-like fear.
If people demand cheapy, nasty toys for a few cents, then that is what we will be marketed and sold. If we demand high quality, worthwhile toys, well, the market will show that too.
I have an even better idea. Instead of pushing for government involvement in yet one more area of our lives, take a look around and see how you can simplify and support small US businesses by buying local, hand-made toys. No, I can’t mass produce a doll and sell it for $7, but I can sew a great quality, handmade doll that I guarantee will outlast your child’s doll playing years and sell it to you for under $25. No, your local woodworker can't mold out 100's of plastic blocks per shift, but he can provide cool toys like this or this. My friend Lisa doesn't produce complete play kitchens neatly wrapped in cellophane, but she does do amazingly cute play food sets .
So I suppose my rant is over, but seriously, think about it. What can we do to act instead of just react?
HOWEVER (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?), if I read or hear one more thing about “the government” letting this happen, or “the government” allowing these toys to be sold, or “the government” taking steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again... I will scream.
I don’t want “the government” to decide what toys I can buy and my children can play with. Someone else already gets to decide who and how and when my children get vaccinated, how I can deliver my babies, how I can educate them, and we are on a slippery slope regarding how I can discipline them.
At what point do we just birth them and turn them over to approved nurseries to be fed approved foods and sleep in approved cribs and play with approved toys and educated in approved methods?
How about we a) use some common sense, and b) let the power of free-market do its magic?
I keep reading of people going through their homes and tossing anything marked “made in China”, whether it is painted or not. If you choose to get rid of all Chinese made items, so be it, but be aware that cheap items made in other countries may have the same problems and also that not ALL products that happen to be made in China are poison. React thoughtfully, not out of a lemming-like fear.
If people demand cheapy, nasty toys for a few cents, then that is what we will be marketed and sold. If we demand high quality, worthwhile toys, well, the market will show that too.
I have an even better idea. Instead of pushing for government involvement in yet one more area of our lives, take a look around and see how you can simplify and support small US businesses by buying local, hand-made toys. No, I can’t mass produce a doll and sell it for $7, but I can sew a great quality, handmade doll that I guarantee will outlast your child’s doll playing years and sell it to you for under $25. No, your local woodworker can't mold out 100's of plastic blocks per shift, but he can provide cool toys like this or this. My friend Lisa doesn't produce complete play kitchens neatly wrapped in cellophane, but she does do amazingly cute play food sets .
So I suppose my rant is over, but seriously, think about it. What can we do to act instead of just react?
Monday, September 10, 2007
blech, a spider web
I have completely forgotten what wondrous bits of humor and whimsy I had intended to share this morning. I accidentally (well, obviously, it's not like you'd do this on purpose!!) walked into a spider web, complete with tiny spider, and now, no matter how much I brush myself off and smack myself about the head and face, I still keep thinking that I FEEL it on me.
You see, Joy and I got up after Jeff and Dean but well before Joey and Jessi, so we had the place to ourselves. I was waiting for someone to drop something off to me so we were sitting outside and got to enjoy the interesting show of the bulk trash pick up.
Seriously you guys, that is SO cool. The truck with that claw thingy, and he drives around and then parks and stabilizes the truck, then like a live video game, he works all the controls and picks up everything from old couches and mattresses, to tree branches.
But I digress, we noticed a little spider hanging from the tree, catching the breeze, floating around, and while we appreciated him from a distance, we were careful not to get too close and have him (or her, I really don't know) float onto us.
Well, we were careful for a minute. My friend drove up to deliver the stuff, the trash man was picking up a mattress and was about to move onto the next house (an old LaZboy) and we just weren't paying attention.
Yacks. A face full of spider web. I'm sure that we returned the favor of providing a show to the trash man with the gyrations and slapping that followed.
It has now been 30 minutes, I've pulled much of my hair out and am quite sure that there is nothing alive on me, but still... I FEEL it, you know?
You see, Joy and I got up after Jeff and Dean but well before Joey and Jessi, so we had the place to ourselves. I was waiting for someone to drop something off to me so we were sitting outside and got to enjoy the interesting show of the bulk trash pick up.
Seriously you guys, that is SO cool. The truck with that claw thingy, and he drives around and then parks and stabilizes the truck, then like a live video game, he works all the controls and picks up everything from old couches and mattresses, to tree branches.
But I digress, we noticed a little spider hanging from the tree, catching the breeze, floating around, and while we appreciated him from a distance, we were careful not to get too close and have him (or her, I really don't know) float onto us.
Well, we were careful for a minute. My friend drove up to deliver the stuff, the trash man was picking up a mattress and was about to move onto the next house (an old LaZboy) and we just weren't paying attention.
Yacks. A face full of spider web. I'm sure that we returned the favor of providing a show to the trash man with the gyrations and slapping that followed.
It has now been 30 minutes, I've pulled much of my hair out and am quite sure that there is nothing alive on me, but still... I FEEL it, you know?
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Do it now...
don't delay, don't put it off for another day...
Any other Patch fans out there know this song?
I was tired of "what's gonna work? TEAMWORK! what's gonna work?..." So I taught the kids this Patch the Pirate song instead.
We were making good use of it this afternoon giving the living room (and by virtue of putting many things in their proper place, the rest of the house) a good cleaning.
Now, I don't normally appreciate or share "potty humor" but this is too funny. Joey was taking a potty break and Jessi kept going to the bathroom door and singing to him, "Do it NOW, don't DELAY.." and finally Joey had had enough. I hear, "Listen Jessi, I am a SLOW person, I do NOT like that song! STOP singing it to me!"
At this same time, Joy woke up from her nap and had to go potty as well. We only have one bathroom and while I do have a little potty chair for Joy to use in emergencies, I thought that Joey could indeed speed things up and get out. As he came out, I ran Joy in and put her on the potty, fussed with the skirt of her dress and made sure that her sash wasn't going to go in. She seemed rather distressed but since I only understand about 1/4 of her 1 year old gibberish, I missed the message. By the time I caught on to the reason, it was too late. Poor kid, I had put her on the potty but not taken down her panties.
The message here? I don't know... Some things need to be done NOW, and some things it pays to take an extra second and be thorough.
Any other Patch fans out there know this song?
I was tired of "what's gonna work? TEAMWORK! what's gonna work?..." So I taught the kids this Patch the Pirate song instead.
We were making good use of it this afternoon giving the living room (and by virtue of putting many things in their proper place, the rest of the house) a good cleaning.
Now, I don't normally appreciate or share "potty humor" but this is too funny. Joey was taking a potty break and Jessi kept going to the bathroom door and singing to him, "Do it NOW, don't DELAY.." and finally Joey had had enough. I hear, "Listen Jessi, I am a SLOW person, I do NOT like that song! STOP singing it to me!"
At this same time, Joy woke up from her nap and had to go potty as well. We only have one bathroom and while I do have a little potty chair for Joy to use in emergencies, I thought that Joey could indeed speed things up and get out. As he came out, I ran Joy in and put her on the potty, fussed with the skirt of her dress and made sure that her sash wasn't going to go in. She seemed rather distressed but since I only understand about 1/4 of her 1 year old gibberish, I missed the message. By the time I caught on to the reason, it was too late. Poor kid, I had put her on the potty but not taken down her panties.
The message here? I don't know... Some things need to be done NOW, and some things it pays to take an extra second and be thorough.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Disney Planning
So we are going to Disney. This trip is actually a long time coming, we had originally planned back in 2005 to go the spring of 2006...then found out I was expecting and that we'd have a 6-8 week old baby in the spring of '06. So, the Disney trip got delayed.
Earlier this year a friend told me about a vaction home rental agency that had super prices right in the Disney area, I looked it up and was completely wowed. 3 bedroom townhomes with pools and large on-resort playgrounds and waterparks for barely over $100 a night. Our family size is such that Disney resort policy won't allow us to stay in one room, we either get two separate rooms (with one of us in each "kid" room, even if the kid is 17 years old!) which even in Disney's "budget" resorts comes to nearly $200 a night, or pay $300 a night for a large suite type resort. So, even figuring in parking lot fees every day and not being able to buy the dining plan, staying out in town worked out best for us.
We are staying in this unit, called Pooh's Dreamscape , check out the pictures of the playground and waterpark... I almost want to leave a day free just to play on the resort property!
We plan to bring one of Dean's friends along so he can go do big kid things while we endure endless rounds of Flying Dumbo rides. Ok just kidding about "enduring" it, we are really excited about letting the kids experience Disney while they are still young enough to enjoy all the magic.
I have reservations for Breakfast with Pooh and Friends, lunch with Mickey, Chip & Dale, and I'm not sure who else, Breakfast with JoJo and Goliath, and Breakfast with Donald and friends. I am expecting that one big meal in the park per day will be plenty and we can suppliment with snacks and shared meals as needed. We will hit Magic Kingdom on day 1, then Epcot, MGM, and Animal Kingdom in that order, and leave the last day free to return to whichever park we need to- I'm assuming that will be Magic Kingdom again.
We would also like to see the Medieval Times dinner theater while we are down there, either the first night before we start hitting the parks, or after we are done with the parks and are heading for Tampa to stay with my cousin for a few days. The kids are excited about seeing "real" knights and princesses, although there is some concern about the possibility of dragons. I'll let you know how that all works out.
I have absolutely absorbed the entire 500 page website of Allearsnet.com (a great disney tip site!) and with my personalized maps from My Disney Vacation, I feel almost ready to hit the road.
Oh, speaking of hitting the road, we are going to add to our vacation and take the Amtrak AutoTrain down to Orlando. We board a little ways north from where we live, get on the train in the afternoon, eat supper, watch movies, have our sleeper car turned down, and go to bed. We wake up the next day, eat breakfast on the train, and get off in Orlando. Snips about 700 miles off of that pesky drive. We load the van on in Virginia and unload it in Orlando and have our own wheels. We will be driving home but it just seemed like a great idea to NOT arrive for 5 days at the Kingdom already tired from the trip. It's a bit pricey but by buying our tickets and leaving on certain days we were able to save a few hundred $ from the regular prices, not to mention that the kids are tickled to be riding a "REAL TRAIN", and I'm sure I will NOT be missing the "are we there yet" that we would have gotten had we driven!
So,
matching T shirts (for each day of the trip of course)- check,
itinerary - check,
character dining reservations- check,
train tickets- check,
townhome reservations- check,
new shoes (walking a bit each evening to break them in of course!) - check,
"training" trips to the local museum (we have a pass, so if they misbehave, we leave immediately...they don't need to know that at disney we can't do that)- check,
a trial run to Busch Gardens (they did pretty good!) - check.
Now, I just need to get an extra card or two for the camera, autograph books, figure out exact packing logistics, think of 94 other things, forget 37 of those things...
Jeff keeps telling me-- "uh baby, this isn't the last and only time we'll ever take them... just the first time" he's right, I know this... I just need to relax, actually, (oh how sad is this...) it's on my list.
Earlier this year a friend told me about a vaction home rental agency that had super prices right in the Disney area, I looked it up and was completely wowed. 3 bedroom townhomes with pools and large on-resort playgrounds and waterparks for barely over $100 a night. Our family size is such that Disney resort policy won't allow us to stay in one room, we either get two separate rooms (with one of us in each "kid" room, even if the kid is 17 years old!) which even in Disney's "budget" resorts comes to nearly $200 a night, or pay $300 a night for a large suite type resort. So, even figuring in parking lot fees every day and not being able to buy the dining plan, staying out in town worked out best for us.
We are staying in this unit, called Pooh's Dreamscape , check out the pictures of the playground and waterpark... I almost want to leave a day free just to play on the resort property!
We plan to bring one of Dean's friends along so he can go do big kid things while we endure endless rounds of Flying Dumbo rides. Ok just kidding about "enduring" it, we are really excited about letting the kids experience Disney while they are still young enough to enjoy all the magic.
I have reservations for Breakfast with Pooh and Friends, lunch with Mickey, Chip & Dale, and I'm not sure who else, Breakfast with JoJo and Goliath, and Breakfast with Donald and friends. I am expecting that one big meal in the park per day will be plenty and we can suppliment with snacks and shared meals as needed. We will hit Magic Kingdom on day 1, then Epcot, MGM, and Animal Kingdom in that order, and leave the last day free to return to whichever park we need to- I'm assuming that will be Magic Kingdom again.
We would also like to see the Medieval Times dinner theater while we are down there, either the first night before we start hitting the parks, or after we are done with the parks and are heading for Tampa to stay with my cousin for a few days. The kids are excited about seeing "real" knights and princesses, although there is some concern about the possibility of dragons. I'll let you know how that all works out.
I have absolutely absorbed the entire 500 page website of Allearsnet.com (a great disney tip site!) and with my personalized maps from My Disney Vacation, I feel almost ready to hit the road.
Oh, speaking of hitting the road, we are going to add to our vacation and take the Amtrak AutoTrain down to Orlando. We board a little ways north from where we live, get on the train in the afternoon, eat supper, watch movies, have our sleeper car turned down, and go to bed. We wake up the next day, eat breakfast on the train, and get off in Orlando. Snips about 700 miles off of that pesky drive. We load the van on in Virginia and unload it in Orlando and have our own wheels. We will be driving home but it just seemed like a great idea to NOT arrive for 5 days at the Kingdom already tired from the trip. It's a bit pricey but by buying our tickets and leaving on certain days we were able to save a few hundred $ from the regular prices, not to mention that the kids are tickled to be riding a "REAL TRAIN", and I'm sure I will NOT be missing the "are we there yet" that we would have gotten had we driven!
So,
matching T shirts (for each day of the trip of course)- check,
itinerary - check,
character dining reservations- check,
train tickets- check,
townhome reservations- check,
new shoes (walking a bit each evening to break them in of course!) - check,
"training" trips to the local museum (we have a pass, so if they misbehave, we leave immediately...they don't need to know that at disney we can't do that)- check,
a trial run to Busch Gardens (they did pretty good!) - check.
Now, I just need to get an extra card or two for the camera, autograph books, figure out exact packing logistics, think of 94 other things, forget 37 of those things...
Jeff keeps telling me-- "uh baby, this isn't the last and only time we'll ever take them... just the first time" he's right, I know this... I just need to relax, actually, (oh how sad is this...) it's on my list.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
invisible mothers
News first, then the post:
Joy's visit to the dentist went very well, much better than her first visit a few months ago to a different dentist. This dentist says that he feels like with the rapid onset and lightening fast progress, this isn't normal decay, she had some sort of enamel defect from development. However, there is stuff we can do. They did a paint on sealer treatment yesterday, we will go back in 8 weeks to do it again, and once he feels like the current teeth are fully through, we will look at repair options. It is heartbreaking to see my beautiful baby with her rotten crumbly little teeth, but to know that someone else cares and will HELP us (let me tell you, that first dentist was a piece of work!) makes it a bit easier.
Today we are headed for the pediatrician to see what to do for this thrush since my homegrown remedies aren't working very quickly; Thanks Kayla for pointing out that it spreads like the plague. I'm looking forward to the whole family sporting a white frothy mouth.
anyway, after the ped visit we are heading for busch gardens. Dean worked there this summer and after working 100 hours, he got 6 free passes so he's taking us... we planned to go WEEKS ago, but never got to. Today is the last day since this weekend will be packed for Labor Day, and then he starts school on Tuesday. The kids are just out of their skin to finally go, me not so much. it's supposed to be 90 with 92% humidity. I think that means we will be swimming. I mean can you even breath air that is 92% humid? Should I pack scuba gear?
Last night was the open house/meet the teacher at Dean's new school (he's going to trade school half day and finishing regular high school courses the other half of the day) so Jeff took him. They talked to the teacher and principal about our Disney trip and worked out some ways that Dean can miss that much and be ok, so we are ON. Well, we were on anyway since the train tickets are bought and the townhouse paid for, but now I know to go ahead and buy him a Disney ticket too.
Alright, invisible moms. I have mixed emotions about this essay. I certainly don't approve of my family ignoring me, but we are a work in progress. There are many days when I do honestly wonder if I'm actually speaking out loud or if I'm really just one of the voices in my head. In the meantime, I did get a little bit of a boost from this piece.
Perspective: The Invisible Woman By Nicole Johnson It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. "Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?" I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing. Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: * No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. * These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. * They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. * The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Joy's visit to the dentist went very well, much better than her first visit a few months ago to a different dentist. This dentist says that he feels like with the rapid onset and lightening fast progress, this isn't normal decay, she had some sort of enamel defect from development. However, there is stuff we can do. They did a paint on sealer treatment yesterday, we will go back in 8 weeks to do it again, and once he feels like the current teeth are fully through, we will look at repair options. It is heartbreaking to see my beautiful baby with her rotten crumbly little teeth, but to know that someone else cares and will HELP us (let me tell you, that first dentist was a piece of work!) makes it a bit easier.
Today we are headed for the pediatrician to see what to do for this thrush since my homegrown remedies aren't working very quickly; Thanks Kayla for pointing out that it spreads like the plague. I'm looking forward to the whole family sporting a white frothy mouth.
anyway, after the ped visit we are heading for busch gardens. Dean worked there this summer and after working 100 hours, he got 6 free passes so he's taking us... we planned to go WEEKS ago, but never got to. Today is the last day since this weekend will be packed for Labor Day, and then he starts school on Tuesday. The kids are just out of their skin to finally go, me not so much. it's supposed to be 90 with 92% humidity. I think that means we will be swimming. I mean can you even breath air that is 92% humid? Should I pack scuba gear?
Last night was the open house/meet the teacher at Dean's new school (he's going to trade school half day and finishing regular high school courses the other half of the day) so Jeff took him. They talked to the teacher and principal about our Disney trip and worked out some ways that Dean can miss that much and be ok, so we are ON. Well, we were on anyway since the train tickets are bought and the townhouse paid for, but now I know to go ahead and buy him a Disney ticket too.
Alright, invisible moms. I have mixed emotions about this essay. I certainly don't approve of my family ignoring me, but we are a work in progress. There are many days when I do honestly wonder if I'm actually speaking out loud or if I'm really just one of the voices in my head. In the meantime, I did get a little bit of a boost from this piece.
Perspective: The Invisible Woman By Nicole Johnson It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. "Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?" I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing. Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: * No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. * These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. * They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. * The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The mouths of babes...
1. Joy has thrush. HOW did we get this now? I've nursed three kids, for a total of 41 months, and never gotten thrush. Joy was nearly weaned (until she got sick the beginning of August, really lovely stomache flu, so we got back into nursing a lot), and we are working on it again and now BAM, Sunday she was a little fussy and I noticed some "sugar sprinkles" on her tongue, Monday we headed for the herb store to get some doctorin' stuff, we had a BAD night last night, and today I'm wiping it off of her lips.
YUCK YUCK YUCK.
The only thing more ucky than thrush is the stuff you have to use to get rid of it. My arsenal includes: raw, plain yogurt, liquid acidopholus, Yeast Relief tincture, and a GSE solution (GSE is grapefruit seed extract, if you've ever been on TLC, you may know it as the stuff Sister Ruth Vernon tells you to put into the water of 3rd world countries to keep from getting sick. it's great stuff, but it tastes truly awful). All of these things are hideously foul tasting. I'm hoping that mere contact with all of the above is sufficient, because the most that I can claim is that I'm "rinsing" her mouth with them. I'm pretty sure nothing is actually going down.
She has a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm afraid they are not going to be happy with me showing up with cheese mouthed kid. I don't want to reschedule since I bagged and pleaded and cried to get an appointment with this new dentist. If it's still bad tomorrow, I may have to go from the dentist to the ped for some prescription stuff.
2. Yesterday I took Joy for a ride (yes even with gas at nearly $3 a gallon, I have my limits) and Jessi came with me. We stopped at a park for a few minutes and Jessi wanted to park under a "flower tree" - a pink crepe myrtle. I barely glanced at the tree but in a moment heard Jessi excitedly exclaim, "Oh look, flowers here and here and there and there, it makes a cross!" I looked and sure enough, a rough cross shape made of flower bundles. I said, "Yes, seeing a cross makes me think of Jesus." We prayed and thanked God for the pretty day and for the cross to make us think of him. Jessi then remarked, "I don't think those flowers are really a cross." I was about to be confused, after all, she just brought it up, but then she continued, "I think God saw us come into the park and saw us park here and made the cross just for us to see it and think of Him, I think he was saying 'Hi'."
Wow, how special are we that God saw us coming and made a flower cross just to say "Hi!" ? I am so greatful for the new view of God that I get to experience through the eyes of my children.
YUCK YUCK YUCK.
The only thing more ucky than thrush is the stuff you have to use to get rid of it. My arsenal includes: raw, plain yogurt, liquid acidopholus, Yeast Relief tincture, and a GSE solution (GSE is grapefruit seed extract, if you've ever been on TLC, you may know it as the stuff Sister Ruth Vernon tells you to put into the water of 3rd world countries to keep from getting sick. it's great stuff, but it tastes truly awful). All of these things are hideously foul tasting. I'm hoping that mere contact with all of the above is sufficient, because the most that I can claim is that I'm "rinsing" her mouth with them. I'm pretty sure nothing is actually going down.
She has a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm afraid they are not going to be happy with me showing up with cheese mouthed kid. I don't want to reschedule since I bagged and pleaded and cried to get an appointment with this new dentist. If it's still bad tomorrow, I may have to go from the dentist to the ped for some prescription stuff.
2. Yesterday I took Joy for a ride (yes even with gas at nearly $3 a gallon, I have my limits) and Jessi came with me. We stopped at a park for a few minutes and Jessi wanted to park under a "flower tree" - a pink crepe myrtle. I barely glanced at the tree but in a moment heard Jessi excitedly exclaim, "Oh look, flowers here and here and there and there, it makes a cross!" I looked and sure enough, a rough cross shape made of flower bundles. I said, "Yes, seeing a cross makes me think of Jesus." We prayed and thanked God for the pretty day and for the cross to make us think of him. Jessi then remarked, "I don't think those flowers are really a cross." I was about to be confused, after all, she just brought it up, but then she continued, "I think God saw us come into the park and saw us park here and made the cross just for us to see it and think of Him, I think he was saying 'Hi'."
Wow, how special are we that God saw us coming and made a flower cross just to say "Hi!" ? I am so greatful for the new view of God that I get to experience through the eyes of my children.
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