a few more pictures

and perhaps a few more details...pictures first, then the gory details for those who are into that.

At my appointment on Tuesday Sept 2, my MW said that while I had progressed from a 1 to a 2, it was time to set the date for my induction. My 42 week mark was drawing close and honestly, I was done, both physically and emotionally. She said we could do it Thursday or Friday. I initially said Friday to give myself as much time as possible to go into labor on my own, but then I checked the schedule and saw that one of my favorite MWs was on duty on Thursday and I figured as much as I dread an induction, if I have to do it, then I want someone who I absolutely trust and adore. So Thursday was the day. I asked about trying home remedies like Castor oil and she said that was fine to do it on Wednesday (I had already been on all sorts of herbs for general pregnancy health).

So Wednesday I got up and did a castor oil dose at 7 am. nothing. seriously... all the stories of terrible intestinal distress from castor oil and I got nothing. not a tummy ache and certainly not labor. I got frustrated and did it again at 4 pm, and again got nothing. Figured it wasn't going to work and ate dinner etc. Packed for the hospital and then Jeff and I decided to go to Walmart for a few things (we couldn't find the head brace thing for the baby seat). So we went to WalMart about 10 pm and by the time we finished walking the store and were on the way home, I was pretty crampy. I was excited and the cramps eventually worked themselves into contractions. Nothing spectacular, but real contrax. about 1:30 am we decided to call the MW on call and give them a heads up. My other favorite MW was on, and she delivered me last time, with Joyana, so when I said I thought it was real even though there was no pattern, she said that she was at the center anyway and to come on in.

We went in and I was about a 4. Hmm. I was really hoping for more than that, but ok, that meant it was real labor and I was progressing.

The next part was torture... they filled the jacuzzi although I knew I couldn't get in until about 6 to 7 cm. and we waited. and waited and walked, and rested. and by 4 to 4:30 am... all action had ceased. It wasn't false labor, but it wasn't real either.

So, Thursday morning found me already in place for my induction.

The next MW came on shift and we discussed the options. We could break my water or try cytotech. I liked the idea of breaking the water since this could be done there in the birthing center, however, it is also scary because it means that you start the clock. baby must be out 24 hours after the water breaking. On the other hand, cytotech was the "devil I knew" (or thought I knew) since this is what my previous induction with Jessica was, it was AWFUL, but it was over in less than 3 hours. The reality was though that the choice was made for us because none of the OBs were available to come perform the amniotomy (break my water) and the MW couldn't/wouldn't do it since I was not progressed enough and there was danger of cord prolapse.

So, with heaviness, but acceptance, we walked down the hall to the Labor and Delivery department and got settled in there.

The first application of cytotech was amazing in it's uselessness. Of course I had to stay in bed on a monitor for two wonderful hours,but otherwise it was a bust. Once I was allowed up, I tried to walk but it seemed like wasted effort. No progress.

So four hours after the first cytotech, we did it again. Again, nothing but one or two very minor cramps that were probably actually the baby getting mad that I was just laying there.

Compounded with this was the fact that I had been up most of Wednesday night with the "false" labor, and I was STARVING! you can eat in the birthing center but not in the L&D, especially with an induction because they may need to anesthetize you at any time.

We talked with the MW and she said that my option for a natural birth was to break my water, otherwise it was IV pitocin and all that goes with that. So we opted for the amniotomy which was performed about 4:30 pm.

This did start my contractions.

Unfortunately, it also comes with the price that you have to stay flat at first and incline very gradually over the next few hours to make sure that baby doesn't come slamming down too fast and prolapse the cord. Not that this baby had any intention of slamming down too fast.

Finally I was allowed up and about for 40 minutes, then back on the monitor for 20 minutes, each hour.

Problem, every time I sat back in the bed for monitoring, the baby went nuts, heart rate went high, and I couldn't get a good reading. Finally I asked the nurse to just humor me, and let me sit up in a straight chair as I felt that baby disliked me sitting in the soft bed where he got scrunched. I was right and the heartbeat was great if I was sitting very straight. Of course there is no fun like the fun of having a contraction in a straight chair.

The other thing was that baby was fighting back - literally- each contraction. You know how you belly rolls and bumps and gyrates when baby goes square dancing? You know how most babies chill out and settle down at the end before you actually start labor?

Baby Jonny didn't. Baby Jonny thought that each contraction was a personal affront to him. Baby Jonny though that kickboxing was a great way to communicate his displeasure.

My MW and the nurses were a bit taken aback by the activity level of my belly between contractions. This also of course complicated matters by kicking the monitor thingy off of the "sweet spot" during my 20 minutes of monitor time. Eventually the scenario was that the nurse had to sit in front of me and hold the monitor on, tracking baby, to get the heartbeat to register.

How fun. labor sitting up in a straight chair, with the nurse sitting in front me, me trying to hold still so she didn't lose the heartbeat. I guess it's better than laboring in bed (horrors!!) but certainly no picnic!

Finally, and i have no idea what time or how long into labor it was, I sort of lost it. In retrospect, I guess it was transition, or at least I was displaying classic transition behavior, I rang for the nurse, started crying and told her that I needed Nel (the MW). Can I just say how amazing Nel is? She came in right away, we talked, she put me in the shower which helped immensely, and stayed with me the rest of the time.

The shower helped so much and I really felt like I had progressed, alas, when I got out (I had the shower too hot and felt dizzy) I was still only at a 7. At that point I said that I needed more options. I was too tired and hungry, this was taking too long, the contractions were hard, but short and I felt like they weren't accomplishing much, I was having back labor (baby was facing the wrong way-- not breech, but face up instead of face down-- or vice versa, anyway, the wrong way).

My options were at this point to do some IV meds that would let me rest or go the whole way and do an epidural and pitocin.

I cried and said I would take the epidural, that I was too tired and knew I still had to push Montstro baby out. Thankfully, my dear husband was a voice of reason and suggested that we go with an IV and nubain first, just so I could relax. Let me clarify lest someone think he was trying to not let me get what pain relief and rest that I needed, that is not it at all. He has been here with me for 4 births now and he knows that at the end I tend to think I can't go anymore, but really it's almost over. He also knows how committed I was to a natural birth-- and not for some silly reason to brag about, but because I've experienced both medicated and natural birth and my recovery for the natural birth is SO much better. Anyway, since the first step for either the IV and nubain OR the epidural is the same- running an IV for a while, we decided to start the IV , do nubain, and then reassess.

This is where things went really fast, but in slow motion. To do the IV and nubain, they have to do continuous monitoring on the baby, ie, internal lead taped to baby's head. We started the IV and after it was in and taped, I realized that my hand was flexed and I wasn't able to move it freely (this observation is important later). Once the IV was in place, Nel placed the lead. the monitor showed a greatly reduced heartrate, like critically reduced. people started moving quickly, someone paged the OB and as I lay there, I realized that I was about to be wheeled in for an emergency C-section and that I would become one of those horror stories that you hear about the mom not getting her anesthesia because they had to get the baby out NOW. In my weird little stupor, I thought that the adrenaline would get me through the initial cutting since I wanted the baby out NOW if something was wrong, but I hoped that they would get me knocked out in time to miss the sewing up part. Did I mention I was tired and hungry (about 4 hours sleep in the past 36 hours, and about 24 hours since my last meal)? Anyway, again I'm not sure how long it was, only a few minutes I'm sure, but the problem was the lead, not the baby, and all alerts were called off. She placed a new lead and told me, "Uh, Jordana, you are complete."

My reply? "What? Does this mean I don't get to rest??" At which they laughed at me. Somewhere around this time we also noticed that the IV had come out. All that trouble and I didn't even get my good drugs. Grr.

Anyway, when she told me I was complete, I took matters into my own hands and pronounced that I was ready to have the baby and everyone should prepare. I dimly heard her say, "But Jordana..." but I ignored her, got into my preferred position ( kneeling) and proceeded to deliver.

My husband says that I got pretty bossy during this time, telling people where to stand and what to do, but I don't recall any of that so really, there is no point in speculating.

Later Nel told me that what she had started to say, was that I still had a way to go, as the baby was not dropped or engaged and was still at a negative 2 position. However I say that what I didn't know didn't hurt me and I pushed from -2 station to delivery in about 40 minutes or less.

I guess the other funny thing was Nel telling me that she was going to have to dye her hair tomorrow ( referencing the lost heartbeat), and that at delivery they put Jonny on my chest and I made quite a stink about him being purple and to "take him, take him, make him pink, then give him back!" Finally Nel said, "Jordana! he's still attached! he'll be pink in a minute!"

The L&D nurse and the nursery nurse pegged him at 9 1/2 lbs and they were almost right on, he was 9 lbs, 10 oz.

So, yes, NOT the labor and delivery I envisioned, but then again the whole pregnancy was not what I envisioned after the last "perfect" pregnancy, labor, and delivery, either. However, I do think I learned some important things. It ended up not being about me not getting my plan, but realizing that it's all about having someone you totally trust taking care of you. I knew that all the things that Nel did were about my care and the baby's safety and not about her convenience or ease. I definitely felt like we (Jeff and I ) were not just "in the loop" but actually making our own decisions. I felt like I was choosing what to do and not that things were being done to me. I was blessed to have Jeff be in touch enough with what my real choice would be to advocate for me, and of course blessed to have someone I trust utterly to be my care provider.

He is now 11 days old and doing well. He has thrush but is being treated so I'm sure that will be fine soon.

The kids are enthralled with him. Jessi thinks she is little mommy, Joy sings to him, and Joey... my big softy is flat out smitten in LOVE. He just gazes at him with this blissed out look, it's the sweetest thing ever.